Scully sat in stunned silence as the car found its way through the dark. Skinner drove quietly, taking his eyes off the road only occasionally to glance her way. Neither could believe what they had just seen... what they had just done. They had buried a friend today. How many months had it been? Days filled with hope, false leads, and frustration at finding nothing. And then they found him and their worst nightmare had come true.

Scully was sure that no one could fully appreciate her loss. Mulder was far more to her than a partner. He was her friend, her brother, her father, her student, her teacher, her protector, her antagonist, and once, her lover. He had given her the greatest of all gifts -- a child, his own self-doubt and pessimism cast aside to grant her this one wish.

The miracle had come with a bittersweet cost, however, as this man who had given her so much would soon be taken away from her.

She glanced at Skinner. He was stone-faced, concentrating too hard on the road ahead of them. She knew he felt the loss too. He had grown to hold so much respect for Mulder and for Mulder's work. Often in the past she had doubted his commitment to finding the truth; wondered what side he was on. She had held him at gunpoint one night, sure she couldn't trust him... or anyone, except Mulder. But when Mulder disappeared this time, she learned that Skinner was above reproach. With his own beliefs challenged, his career jeopardized, his life threatened... he vowed never to deny what he saw that night when Mulder disappeared and his commitment to finding him had rivaled only Scully's. She knew he blamed himself for what happened. She knew he felt as though he had let her down. But what he didn't realize was that it had been the opposite; he had been her rock these last few months, supporting her and grieving with her, never giving up.

Mulder's funeral was in Raleigh, where he could be with his mother and the memory of his sister. His father had been buried up north, but Mulder nevertheless had a headstone created for his entire family. Scully theorized it was his way of trying to obtain what he never had -- a normal life... or at least the appearance of one.

The day had been a blur for Scully. Skinner had driven her and her mother down. She could vaguely recollect the service. She knew there were people there but most of their faces were forgotten. It's amazing how an event as significant as the funeral for someone close quickly becomes a faded memory.

Skinner pulled up in front of Scully's apartment. It was moments before she realized they had stopped. She glanced up to her dark apartment windows but felt no connection, as if her home somehow wasn't hers anymore. Shaking the thought out of her head, she turned to Skinner to thank him for driving.

"You don't have to thank me, Scully." He sighed and looked forward. The drive to his own apartment was a long one and he didn't relish the idea.

"Um, sir?" Scully's voice was quiet. "I have some files that I think Agent Doggett is going to need this week." She had been convinced by her mother and Skinner to take the remainder of the week to herself. "Would you mind if I gave them to you to give to him?"

Skinner was sure the files could wait a day or so. Besides, Agent Doggett wouldn't think twice to make the trip to pick them up himself. But he realized she was asking for something more than that one favour. She was asking for company. He didn't much feel like being alone himself and so he agreed.

He parked the car and followed Scully up to her apartment. He watched as she absently turned on the lights and shed her shoes and raincoat. He did the same, resting his over coat on the sofa. Scully moved to her desk where she found the all-important files.

"Agent Doggett and I were just starting to look into this when..." Her voice trailed off as she handed him the files. "Anyway, he might want to get back to it, I don't know."

He stared at the files in his hand and back to Scully. "Are you going to be okay, Dana?" His voice was calm and gentle and reminded her of her father's when he tried to comfort her as a child. A rush of tears threatened her composure.

She opened her mouth to deliver her stock answer to such questions but the words wouldn't form. "You must be tired. Or thirsty? Are you hungry?" The questions tumbled out in a mess before she could censor herself. She winced... it sounded every bit as needy as she feared. She didn't want to be alone. She had already invented an excuse to have him up. Now she was inventing excuses for him to stay just a little longer.

"I am a little thirsty," was the reply.

"I uh... I don't have much," she said as she moved to the kitchen. "I have some water and some juice. I can make coffee or tea if you'd like. Decaf's all I have, though."

"Water's fine."

Scully lifted the pitcher of water from the refrigerator and retrieved two glasses from the cupboard. She was deliberate in pouring the water, willing herself not to start shaking. She had little experience at falling apart at the seams and she was intent on not gaining any tonight. Or tomorrow. Or ever. She was a strong person. She didn't want help. She didn't need pity. But if that were true, why did she ask Skinner to stay?

Skinner noticed her determination... saw the slight twitch in her hand as she held the pitcher. He reached over and put his hand over hers. "Scully, I'm sorry."

His intent wasn't to push her over the edge but that was the result. Scully barely managed to set the pitcher down when she closed her eyes and let out a soft sob. "It's not fair," she whispered as she tried to catch her breath. "It's not fair. Too much has happened. Mulder came too far... too close. I don't understand."

Skinner moved closer and put an arm around her shoulder. She'd let him do this in the past and she didn't stop him now. Even the strongest person needs comfort. He needed it too, and he got his from comforting her.

She unfolded her arms and wrapped them around Skinner, pulling him as close as she could. The solid warmth of his body reminded her that life would continue and that she wasn't alone. She cried, and for once didn't try to stop it. It had been an incredibly long and draining day. She was too tired to make the effort and she suspected, correctly, that Skinner wouldn't buy the charade anymore anyway. She buried her face into his chest and trembled with grief as her tears soaked through the cloth of his shirt. He strengthened his hold on her and rested his cheek against the top of her head.

"I'm sorry, Dana. I'm so sorry."

Dana. Sorry. Pity. She hated it yet she needed it, dammit. Though not a weak person, she admitted to times when she felt weak. Like now. She felt so terribly alone... even as she was standing next to Skinner... even as he shared a similar grief. She decided not to fight it anymore and gave into her need to be held and protected... to be taken care of. She would consider the consequences tomorrow.

Skinner didn't let up on his grasp but shifted to press his lips against her temple. She broke his heart but he was thankful that she felt she could let go in front of him like this. The pain she felt brought tears to his own eyes as he hushed her and soothed her. "It's okay, Dana. I'm here. I'm here." He had no doubt Scully was a strong woman, rarely in need of protection. But since he'd learned of her pregnancy -- and with Mulder gone -- he'd felt a certain responsibility to make sure she was all right. It deepened his respect and care for her, both of which had been present for a very long time.

Eventually, her sobs subsided and she stilled. She was exhausted, a headache replacing her tears. She pulled back from Skinner and looked up at him. She could see the emotion in him as she could feel it in herself. He knew the weight of her grief and had taken it upon himself to relieve her of the burden, if only a little. It touched her how strong he was, yet how sensitive. A man who had once been their adversary was now their biggest supporter... her biggest supporter. She wanted to tell him how much his sacrifice and effort meant to her, but wasn't sure she could.

"Thank you." The words didn't sound nearly profound enough. She cleared her throat and tried again. "I mean, for everything. Not just this. You never gave up hope in finding him even when I faltered. You have risked so much to help Mulder and to help me and I'm sorry that I haven't held more faith in you in the past. If I could change that, I would. It may not have seemed like it, but Mulder was always looking for respect... for someone to listen to him and, even though you didn't always agree with him and despite the danger to yourself, you offered him that. He respected you more than you can know. As do I."

She leaned up and kissed him lightly. It seemed natural... even though, technically, he was her boss.

Blushing, she pulled away and broke her contact with him. She turned to the glasses of water and handed one to him, sipping from the other, a sudden thirst overtaking her.

"You don't need to thank me, Scully. If I didn't believe in what you and Mulder were doing, I wouldn't have gotten involved. I had my doubts for so long, but I trusted in you to make me see what was true and what was a lie." He smiled. "Mulder's a bit of a crack pot. The theories that have come out of his mouth... well. I respect the man. I respect his vision but I look to you to tell me what I should believe. You've lent Mulder so much credibility... you probably don't even realize how much. That's why the two of you were such a threat... that, and your devotion to uncovering the truth. I can't tell you how much I admire your determination and your strength and I'm so sorry that this happened, Scully. I think about it all the time... how I could have stopped it..."

She stopped him by placing a hand on his arm. "It wasn't your fault."

"I should have kept closer watch on him. You both trusted me to go with him even though you *knew* I didn't fully understand or believe in what we were looking for. I took it too lightly."

"You looked down, you looked up, and he was gone. You can't blame yourself, sir."

He grew quiet and turned from her, hoping for a firmer grip on his emotions. It had been a long, long day; too long to continue with this discussion. He needed to change their focus somehow - for her sake and for his own.

"Scully, I haven't told you how happy I am for you." He turned and glanced down at her. "I mean about the baby. I think it's a wonderful thing."

She smiled. The baby. She absently brushed a hand across her belly. "Thank you," she said. But her smiled faded when her thoughts again turned to Mulder. Tears threatened to fall once more. "I wish he had known," she said softly. "If only he had waited a little longer before going to Oregon again... I could have told him."

She was crying again, silently, her energy already drained. Skinner mentally kicked himself for bringing it up. His attempt to lighten the mood had backfired... badly. Before he could stop himself, he again took her into his arms again, rocking her slowly and smoothing her hair.

When she pulled back a bit, he cupped her face and gently forced her to look into his eyes. "You're going to be okay, Scully. You're going to be a wonderful mother," he whispered.

He lightly brushed his lips against her forehead... her cheek... his mouth working of its own accord until he found her mouth. It was wrong. He knew it was wrong but he was too tired to stop himself. He kissed her again, this time more intently, slowly... sure she would pull away.

She didn't.

Scully knew she should stop him... stop herself. This was *Assistant Director* Skinner, after all. However, those thoughts rushed out of her mind as she felt his tongue wind its way into her mouth and she allowed herself to melt into his embrace and his kiss.

No words were spoken. Their hands moved slowly and timidly as they explored one another. Growing more aggressive, he moved his hands down to her hips, sliding them around to cup her ass. He bent slightly and lifted her onto the counter, bringing her eyes up to his own. She let her head fall back and his lips found her throat, his tongue lingering at her pulse. She grasped at his shoulders, tugging his suit coat down and off. His tie went next and her hands worked at the buttons of his shirt.

As Skinner sucked on her ear lobe, he suddenly became aware that she was gradually relieving him of his clothes. The realization that this was going beyond a few kisses hit him smack in the head and he stood up straight. He grasped her hands in his, stilling them. He looked into her eyes and saw the need and want... to be held... loved. She wrested her hands from his and continued with his shirt buttons. With his chest exposed, Scully wound her arms around his neck and whispered into his ear: "Not here..."

Lifting her into his arms, Skinner moved towards Scully's bedroom. He set her down and stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders kneading the muscles there. He helped her shrug out of her jacket as he kissed and nibbled her neck. When the sensation became too much for her, Scully turned to meet his eyes. She could see the desire there but could also see that he was still uncertain. To erase any doubts he may have, she lifted a hand and removed his glasses. She took his hand, led him to her bed and then gently pulled him down with her so that he covered her.

Silently, they made love...

Afterwards, resting her head on Skinner's chest, Scully willed herself to fade into sleep. She was beyond exhausted and was sure when the weight of what had just happened hit her, she would regret it. But, she hoped she could at least find sleep tonight... She would worry about the consequences tomorrow.